jokes-a-lot

Good Understanding

2007-05-02T06:56:00.000-07:00

Wife 2 Husband: See that is my first boyfriend at bar, he has been drinking since i left him 10 years ago.

Husband: Nonsense! No one can celebrate that long!!

Not Caring?

2007-04-27T02:39:00.001-07:00

Hey I sent you many msgs but i hv not received even a single msg from u.

So i'll delete your number.. Gud bye..

....

...

Sardar sends dis 2 Customer Care ;-)

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Muralikanthan for sending this through an sms.

Sardarji and the Travel Time

2007-04-24T04:26:00.000-07:00

Sardar: Could you please tell me the time duration for travelling from Mumbai to New Delhi?
Executive: Just a second sir..
Sardar: Oh... Thanks!! I dint expect to be this much faster journey! ;-)

Cute GrandPa and GrandMa

2007-04-17T02:58:00.000-07:00

Cute GrandPa and GrandMa

[Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Archana Muralidharan for sharing this through an e-mail]

A Grandpa and a Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together.

They made a decision, one day, to make it "yesterday once more".

They made a date on the river bank they used to go when they were young.

The next day, grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come.

But Grandpa ended up in disappointment as Grandma never showed up even after sunset.

Grandpa went home in such anger.

He opened the door, seeing Grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow.

He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned: " Why didn't you come to our date?!!"

Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly:

”Mom didn't allow me to go..." ;))))

A Diary Entry of a True Heroine who saved 1600 lives

2007-04-17T01:43:00.000-07:00

A Diary Entry of a True Heroine who saved 1600 lives.... Four times in a single day. Read till the end.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY ONE
I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.

DEAR DIARY .. DAY TWO
We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some
whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be.

I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY THREE
I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffleboarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.

DEAR DIARY .... DAY FOUR
Went to the ship's casino . did OK ... won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY .... DAY FIVE
Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY SIX

I saved 1600 lives today . .. .four times !!!!

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Mohanarajan SR for sharing this through an e-mail.

27th Alphabet

2007-04-17T01:28:00.000-07:00

Which is the 27th alphabet in english..?

...
...
...
...
...
...

Searching for the answer? Which school da chellam nee?

courtesy: Thanks to my friend Archana for sharing this through an sms.

Choose the Best Profession..

2007-02-23T07:52:00.000-08:00

Never Kiss a Lawyer, she will say,"I OBJECT"..

Never Kiss a nurse, she will say, "NEXT"...

Always kiss a teacher, she will say, "DO IT FIVE TIMES". ;-)

Courtesy: My friend Santhana Gopalan K for sharing this via an SMS.

How are you?

2007-01-25T01:11:00.000-08:00

Those Sparkling eyes...

That Amazing Face..

A 100 Watt Smile..

The Enthu Stride..

The Cheerful Talk...

That Charming Personality..

.............
..............
..............

I'm still the same.. How are you? ;-)

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Archana Muralidharan for sharing this through an sms.

Women's favorite email of the year!!!

2007-01-25T01:04:00.000-08:00

STATUTORY WARNING:
Make sure you are alone because the sound you make while laughing should not disturb your neighbors!!

This email has been voted as women's favorite email of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. A men.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home andpicked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping.

Then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was
exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Santhanagopalan for sharing this through an e-mail.

A Successful Man is One...

2006-12-05T05:43:00.000-08:00

A Successful Man is one who builds a house by the stones
.......
.........
.........
..........
..........
..........

which are thrown by others on him! ;-)

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Archana Muralidharan for sharing this through an SMS.

Tamil Hero's next film ;-)

2006-11-21T20:02:00.000-08:00

This is a good creativity on the next probable films what the Tamil Cinema Industry Heros would do...

Its just 4 bun .. sorry fun guys...

Hero's next film titles.....(hope its not a repeat)

Rajini: Sivaji, MGR, Geminiganesan,Nagesh........
Vijaykanth: Dharmapuri, Masala poori, Chola poori , Pani poori....
Arya: Vattaram, Muconam, Chathurangam....
Vijay: Pokkiri, Mollamari, Kepmari,etc
Surya: 6, 7,8 ,9 ....
Jeeva: E, Erumbu, Kosu, Kambilipoochi.....
SharathKumar: Thalaimagan, Chithappamagan, Athaimagan, Marumagan....
Ajith: Varalaru,, Areviyal, Kanakku, English...
Kamal: Vetaiyadu Vilayadu, Kabadi Vilayadu, Olinju Vilayadu......

Hope you enjoyed.

Let other creators start their creativitiesssss...

Smart Indian Sales Boy ;-)

2006-05-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

The Manager says: "Do you have any sales experience?"

The Indian says: "Sir, I was a salesman back home in India."

Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow.. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down."How many sales did you make today?"

Indian boy says: "Sir, Just ONE sale."

The boss says: "Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day."

If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the salebfor?"

Indian boy says: " $101 237. 64"

Boss says: "$101 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?"

The actual scene happened….

Indian boy says: "Sir, First I sell him small fishhook. Then I sell him medium fishhook. Then I sell him large fishhook. Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.

Then I ask him where he's going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him he'll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.

I then ask him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.

Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss said: "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?"

Indian boy says: "No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind."

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend SanathanaGopalan (his alias name is also Raghavan ;-) for sharing this through an e-mail.

Cleanliness Vs Truthfulness

2006-05-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

Courtesy: Thanks to my friends Vish for sharing this through an e-mail....

Sardar Jeee #4: Sardar in Train

2006-05-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

Aaj Tak" gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one Sardar left alive. The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows:

Correspondent: How did this happen?

Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves. The announcement was misleading. The train arrived on the track and you can see the result.

Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?

Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up....

IT Joke #4 : bit fields....

2006-05-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

Ravi: shhhh...I think the SW Engg who is sitting in the next cabin must be a farmer before ...

Anand: How do u know...?

Ravi: he asked me today that is there a way to cultivate the bit fields..!!

IT Joke #3 : Pass by Reference

2006-05-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

Guy 1 : Hey Bull, Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on this 500 rupees to Suthi?

Guy 2 : Sure.. why not? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether its pass by value or pass by reference..

;-)

IT Joke #2 : Physical Address

2006-05-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

Ramu: i am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer...

Somu: how do u say that?

Ramu: he asked my physical address instead of my home address!

Sardar Jeee #3 :Telugu Speaking Child

2006-05-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

One day a Sardarji talking with his friend.......

Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child.

Friend: Is it! Why?

Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6 months.

O O O O

2006-05-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O ....

Guess wat is it? Confused!!?....................

Its beginning of Himesh Reshmiya's song.

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend SR Mohanarajan for sharing this through an sms.

24 Ants & 1 Elephant

2006-05-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

Once 24 ants went for swimming. An elephant came there for bathing.

When the elephant jumped into the river all the 23 Ants were thrown to the bank. Only one Ant was sitting on the head of the elephant.

Then all the 23 ants shouted.."Push him into the water and kill him dude.." ;-)

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Archana Muralidharan for sharing this through an sms.

A guy had 7 fingers

2006-05-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

A guy had 7 fingers and his friends called him Arjun....

Why?

Guess......

Bcos his name was Arjun....

Cool down for me the sms is free of cost .. tats y even these kinda sms.. He he he .;-)

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Archana Muralidharan for sharing this through an sms.

A Rose is always....

2006-05-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

A Rose is always a rose whether its in a golden pot or in d clay pot.

Same way ur always my FRIEND whether ur in African forest or Vandalore Zoo .......;-)

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Archana Muralidharan for sharing this through an sms.

Thinking of Meee ;-)

2006-05-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

Hi.....

Wat r u doin??

Thinking about me ??

How sweet....

I am also doing the same thing.....

Thinking about myself ..!;-) Good night!

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Archana Muralidharan for sharing this through an sms.

Mirror Effect!

2006-05-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

Could you recall that day when you went to a doll shop and asked how much that MONKEY doll costs?

The shopkeeper replied that "it was a mirror.."

Sweet Memories...

Courtesy: Archana through sms

Sardar Jeee #2 : Sardar and Indian Flag

2006-05-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

Sardar going to shop to buy an Indian flag.

Sardar: Do you have India Flag?

Shopkeeper : Yes Sir! Its here..

Sardar: Can i get it in some other colour? ;-)

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend Archana Muralidharan for sharing this through an sms.

IT Joke #1 : Float instead of Double!

2006-05-18T13:36:00.000-07:00

Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!! what could be wrong?

Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the software.

Sardar jeee #1 - Sardar & Mosquito

2006-05-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

A Sardar was getting bitten by mosquitos the whole night. He got irritated...

Drank Poison and said "Ab kaato saalo, maroge!"...!! ;-)

Courtesy: Thanks to my friend SR Mohanarajan for sharing this through an sms.

2006-04-29T00:10:00.000-07:00

hi,
this is test post in this jokes-a-lot!

Raghs